This past Saturday, I was blessed with the opportunity to participate as a vendor at The Effective Love Marriage Retreat!!!! I met so many couples in all walks of life and marriage. While eating breakfast, I met a couple going through premarital counseling and just wanted to continue to prepare themselves as much as possible before saying I do. Another couple that I met was around my age and were steady in their marriage just attending for a tune up. I also met quite a few older couples that appeared to have navigated a few storms and you can see the peace and the glow of renewed commitments on them. Lastly, I met some couples that were clearly on rocky roads (no judgment, we’ve all been there). One couple in particular approached my table and I could just feel their tension and immediately (and silently) began to pray for them. I began to speak to them about my brand giving them the back story behind it. Due to the tension I was still feeling, I felt led to speak to them about applying Doin All Things to the reason why they were here and that was to work on their marriage. I gave them a set of wristbands encouraging and reminding them that Doin All Things applies to their marriage too meaning finding that balance and making it work. The couple showed their appreciation by purchasing shirts and the wife and I even hugged it out!
Speaking to the couples throughout the day, it was apparent to me the importance of continuing to put the work in not only our marriages, but ourselves FIRST! Now I’m no expert with love and/or marriage and not ashamed to say that this is my second rodeo. My husband and I are almost to the one year mark and we’re feeling pretty damn good about it (especially ME compared to my first time lol). So again I’m no expert but I will say this...take the time to invest loving yourself first and really deciding if marriage is right for you.
When my husband and I started talking about marriage, I did my own premarital counseling on ME. I took the Millennial route (no judgement) and began to seek and follow others via social media who I thought were positive marriage role models both male and female. I also started to speak directly with married couples in all walks of life and ask them questions. My husband and I looked at rings occasionally but I started to REALLY look at rings differently. It was no longer about the sparkle and size of the ring like the first time. It was now about the REAL work behind the rings that I was focused on now. I wanted to get this right as much as possible and was ready.
So continue to do the self love work on you first, and your marriage will reap the benefits! We can’t change our spouses but we can put in the work for ourselves and that in turn and in HIS time will change our marriage. And again, get connected with positive role models and even a counselor if needed be.
Do what’s best for YOU and keep Doin All Things!